Eid Mubarak 2005

Tomorrow's d day when i'll b celebratin eid mubarak...BUT i feel like itz gonner b filled with guilt...

1st of, i got an exam on the 10th and i'm spendin d week b4 travellin around the country when i could've been studyin. Yeah i got my bookz wit me but i just cant push meself to open it and fill my mind with useful knowledge. Insted,i'm fillin myself wit fatty cookies and penang food.

then it comes to my 2nd guilty feelin..i'm stuffin meself wit food! Itz bad enuff dat all d sleepin and no lectures during ramadhan have caused me to gain weight evn tho i've starved myself for 30 dayz..no, 29. I didnt break the bloody record this year...it beat me by 3 hours...aargh! But diz year we're spendin d 1st n 2nd day of eid in Penang..and Penang iz food haven! All me relatives can cook FOOD..!

d 3rd guilty feelin comes frm d fact dat i'm still not talkin dat much to my cuzzins in penang evn tho itz been 5 years since we came bak to d country and we've visited penang every damn year since then...evn dis yr regardless of my exams; and still, a simple HI iz sooo hard to say...I feel so bad seeing that 5 years iz 4 too many to get me comfortable around them. I ges, at least i'm talkin to my cuzzins on my ,mother's side of d famly...

Alas..these words are all juz to get my mind off things, and i noe i'm gonner enjoy eid despite all the guilty feelins in my head. Sometimes i'm glad dat i juz dont give a damn.